Monica Novak

Monica Novak became a bereaved mother in 1995 with the stillbirth of her daughter Miranda, learning firsthand the devastation of saying goodbye to a much-loved, much-wanted baby before having the chance to say hello. Three weeks later, she began a journey towards healing when she attended her first Share support group meeting. Along the way, she and six other bereaved mothers formed a close bond that carried them through the grief of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death, as well as the challenges of subsequent pregnancy and infertility. Having been at the opposite ends of grief and joy; despair and hope; indifference and compassion; fear and peace-sometimes simultaneously-she has captured these emotions and the story of her journey in a highly-praised new memoir titled The Good Grief Club. Monica writes and speaks on the subject of pregnancy loss and infant death and is involved with local and national organizations that provide support to families and caregivers. She is a member of the Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Alliance (PLIDA). Her mission is to bring comfort and hope to bereaved parents worldwide and to educate and promote awareness to the physicians, nurses, clergy, counselors, family, and friends of every mother or father who has or ever will be told that their baby has no heartbeat or that nothing more can be done. The mother of three daughters, Monica lives in the Chicago area with her husband, children, and a rat terrier named Sami. For more information, please visit www.thegoodgriefclub.com or e-mail Monica at monica@thegoodgriefclub.com Monica appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” discussing ”Miscarriage and Infant Loss.” To hear Monica being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, go to the following link: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/34073/miscarriage-and-infant-loss

Articles:

Follow Your Heart When You Have a Chance to Comfort Bereaved

Follow Your Heart with the Bereaved My friend Wendy recently told me this story. On her way out of church that morning, she saw an older woman sitting in the pew crying. It’s a large congregation, and Wendy didn’t know the woman, but something inside Wendy told her to stop. She followed her heart and walked up to the woman to ask if she was okay and could she do anything for her. The woman wiped her face and told Wendy that her 2-month-old granddaughter had just died, and she had to go help her son and daughter-in-law through the […]

Remembering Your Baby on All Souls Day

By Monica Novak – In the Christian traditions, churches all over the world set aside a day of celebrating and remembering our loved ones who have died. Depending on the particular denomination, this day is often referred to as All Souls Day or All Saints Day and is usually held on November 1st or 2nd, or on the 1st Sunday of November. It’s a quiet holiday in comparison to the more prominent events of Christmas and Easter. In some countries, families decorate gravesites with candles and flowers, some even leave food. Here in the United States, many people might not […]

First Halloween

By Beth Seyda – I usually love Halloween, seeing all the little kids in their cute costumes struggling to hold up their trick or treat bags and trying to say “trick or treat”. But that first Halloween was only a couple of weeks after our infant son, Dylan, had died and I knew I could not be at home to give out treats this year. I felt bad about it, but I knew that I would be in no shape to see so many kids. So my husband, Mark, and I decided to see an early movie and have dinner. […]

Floating Downstream: What Loss Has Taught Me

During summer breaks, my 12-week reprieve from the regimented early-morning school schedule, my three girls and I love to sleep in and lounge around in our pajamas all morning (okay, they lounge while I do dishes and laundry and try to get them to pick up their stuff that’s strewn all over the house!). We spend our afternoons at the pool enjoying the sun with friends or visiting family in Indiana. Our evenings are spent listening to free outdoor concerts or curling up on the couch for movie night – which in the summer can be any night we want! […]

News of Fathering Dead Infant Stirs Up Grief Thirty Years Later

By Monica Novak – A reader (I’ll call her Lori) wrote in one day to say that her husband had been contacted by a woman he had dated nearly 30 years earlier. She told him she had broken up with him because she had been pregnant. She went on to deliver a premature baby who died after only an hour. Lori wanted to understand why, after all this time, the woman was contacting her husband. He had known nothing of the pregnancy all these years and now felt a great loss. Here is my response to Lori: Dear Lori, I […]

October: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

In 1988, when President Ronald Reagan declared October to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I was still in college, not yet married, and motherhood was a distant point in my future. The proclamation, even if I had heard about it, would have sailed right past my consciousness. Five years later, when I became a mother, if I had heard about the proclamation then, it might have caught my attention, but I wouldn’t have given it much thought. I hadn’t yet lost a baby during or after pregnancy, nor was I aware of anyone who had. Everything changed in […]

Keeping and Sharing Memories of Our Babies

When my friend Dawn was pregnant with triplets, due the following June, her husband Andy wanted to surprise her with a special piece of jewelry for Christmas. He had no idea what to get, so the sales lady helped him pick a stone. “Get her an amethyst because it’s purple, for royalty, and your wife should be treated like a queen,” she said smiling. The triplets never made it to June. They were born prematurely in February and died within three days of birth. Dawn had chills the day she realized the bracelet Andy had bought her contained the triplets’ […]

Trying Something New Brings Joy and Life to the Bereaved

By Barbara A. Glanz – The following is an excerpt from Barbara’s book What Can I Do? Ideas to Help Those Who Have Experienced Loss: One of the ways we can help people to move on with their lives is to encourage them to do something different than they have ever done before. It may be to sign up for a class or try a new sport or join a new group. As soon as they take this step, as difficult as it is, it represents going forward in a new life. There is a fine line between encouraging and […]

The First Support Group Meeting

By Monica Novak – When our daughter Miranda was stillborn 14 years ago, despite the love and support from family and friends, my husband Al and I often felt a strange aloneness, as if we were existing in another world emotionally separated from everything and everyone around us. My saving grace became the local Share support group, a place where everyone understood. It’s sometimes difficult to build up the courage to attend your first support group meeting – it was for us – but the benefits are innumerable and immeasurable. You’re about to read the first chapter of my book, […]

Back to School Time Can Be Difficult

By Monica Novak – It was July and summer was still in full-swing when the seasonal patio furniture began to quietly disappear from local stores. I knew what was coming, but said nothing. Before long, the signs and bins began going up, and children either delighted or groaned. Parents, too, either delighted or groaned. Back to School clothes and supplies were arriving and the ads were everywhere. But this annual ritual can be a painful reminder for some. Parents who lost a baby three years ago don’t get to shop for the first backpack, something small and cute with ponies […]

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